I feel as though there are endless paragraphs brewing in my heart and mind that wish to be put to the page.
Yet I can’t write any of them.
I try. I type. Then I delete. Then I try again.
Words emerge from my mind and I want to unpack them.
Barbarism. Organ trafficking. Humanity and inhumanity. Deception. Cognitive dissonance.
But I can’t.
So I’ll just say two things:
1. If you aren’t aware of the videos coming out about Planned Parenthood, please make yourself aware. Watch the videos. See, and know, and feel, and think.
2. If you have had an abortion yourself, or aided in obtaining an abortion for someone else, the expose that is happening may be very difficult for you. There are people available to you, to listen to you and to love you. There is Rachel’s Vineyard, which has many locations throughout the country. There are other organizations, perhaps local to you. You can call 1-866-482-LIFE. And while I have nothing special to offer, I am here too. My e-mail is over on the side. People are waiting for you so that the healing can begin.
We are surviving around here. Paul coming home was easier than bringing home a newborn, you know, just in case you are ever debating having a biological child or adopting a child with special needs from an orphanage.
So that should tell you a bit about newborns.
Really, Xander is sweet and a pretty good baby. As most almost one month olds, he sleeps a lot. But when he doesn’t sleep, it’s usually at inopportune times, like when I’d like to sleep. That’s the tricky part. But it’s getting better and I’m certainly not complaining. Babies are magic. I’d have 800 of them if I could.
The boys are adjusting well. In retrospect, I think there was some emotional upheaval for the first few days. Or maybe they are just preschoolers. Or some combination of the two. But it has gotten much more peaceful.
The boys are such good big brothers. Ben likes to give Xander his pacifier when he cries. He has also tried his hand a puppeteering to make his baby bro happy:
It didn’t really work.
Paul occasionally, sweetly, pats Xander on the head and then promptly moves along with his business. But the other day he actually watched him for a bit.
To be fair to Paul, up until then Xander hadn’t been awake much. And even when awake, he’s not all that entertaining.
And now some gratuitous photos for your enjoyment.
Paul Sergiy turns 4 today. From a skinny 15lb 15 month old who couldn’t even sit up to a strapping 32lb 4 year old…
He has come leaps and bounds, even finishing his first full year of preschool. He’s communicating by sign language more, he’s learning to listen, he’s getting into mischief…
If I put the stool in the drawer, and then stand on it, I will be tall enough to open the oven, which has been my lifelong dream!
No stool needed to climb into the sink. This is what all my chin ups have been working towards.
But he still manages to help around the house, like when he moves the chairs out from under the table so I can vacuum under there, or when he helps put away the dishes.
Still working on feeding himself gracefully, but on the plus side, few people share his enthusiasm for food.
We love his personality. He is independent and loves to have time on his own to play.
Not just splashing around, but playing by pouring water from one cup into a bucket!
Ben’s on the front sidewalk riding his bike; Paul is in the back playing in the water. Mom paces between the two to keep watch, glancing at a snoozing Xander in the living room. Life is grand.
But he is learning the joy of interacting and playing with others, especially with Ben. It has been so wonderful to see them engaged with one another and having fun.
We’re so proud of Paul and can’t wait to watch him grow more each day. Love you, Paulie! Happy Birthday!
1. It’s gonna be photos, folks. Because typing out information…ain’t nobody got time for that. Especially since I slept funny and my neck is basically non-moveable and painful, so I have to figure out a way to make it feel better during this dwindling nap time…
It was a little unexpected, but I am in no way disappointed.
June 29, 36w3d, 5:12am
Alexander Thomas Stout, weighing 5lb15oz and 18 inches long.
It took us some extra time to pick a name. He came so early, we weren’t really prepared. Still aren’t. We have a few things to do. Lucky for us babies just need food and diapers, really. And a carseat.
We’ll have more pics and stories about Xander’s birth and meeting his big brothers, but for now, here’s just some of our first pics.