God’s Will Be Done

I first want to apologize for the absence.  We thought our appointment date for Justin’s country would come quickly, but then there were delays.  You just can’t predict anything with this country, but that is ok.  It will be the country that (hopefully) gives us a son, so we love it.

Our appointment is for October 1 and our flights are booked.  It is scary and exciting at the same time.

The day before we received our appointment date, we got word that there was yet another problem with Justin’s paperwork.  The details are not important, and to be quite honest, I am not entirely sure what the details are, though I have an idea.  Regardless, I have been told by people who truly want to see Justin make it home with us that there is no way for him to be available for adoption in time for our family to bring him home.  Even if we rescheduled our appointment for a later date, our dossier will expire before Justin’s situation is cleared up, if it is ever cleared up.

We are heartbroken for him.  We thought his days as an orphan were coming to a close, but now, we honestly can’t ever be sure he will be a part of a family.

When adopting, you try not to become attached.  You do this because you just never know what might happen and the fact of the matter is that the child you pursue isn’t yours.  Mentally, we know that and would remind ourselves of that.  At the same time, the heart can’t help but swell in anticipation of adding a child (and sometimes, like in our case, a child that is known to us) to its family.  This just can’t be controlled; it is what happens when someone loves.  And so we mourn.  Because to love someone means to want what is best for that person.  Having no family and living in an orphanage is not what is best for Justin.  We are sad for our loss, but we are mostly sad for his loss.  He will continue to be alone and to suffer, at least for a time.

In the wake of all this, we faced a decision and we had to reflect before moving forward.  Is this adoption about only Justin, or is it about giving a child a family?  It is a hard question to answer, since we really only jumped into international and special needs adoption because of Justin.  We truly felt God drawing us to him. I don’t believe we were mistaken in that.  I think our pursuit of him was of God, but we do live in a fallen world and things don’t always come together as it should.  But our God, He makes a habit of bringing good things from bad.  Our pursuit of Justin served the purpose of getting him moving in the right direction to be available for adoption someday.  It also opened us up to this whole journey.

While Justin is dear to our hearts, our eyes are open that there are many many “Justins” in his country.  We are sad he will not have a family coming for him in October, but we could be the family for another child who has been waiting.  Could we turn our backs and quit this, knowing that in only a couple of weeks, we would have been able to change a child’s life forever?

We couldn’t.

So onward we go, praying that God will lead us to the child He has in mind for us.  We are discerning it right now and do plan to have a decision soon.  Hopefully our next post will be when share the child with you.

Just a few minutes ago the news came that a little baby, only 1 year old, has passed away.  She was listed as Margaret and lived in the same country as Justin.

Please keep praying for these children-for Justin, for Simeon, and for all those who have no family.  Please get involved and share them with your friends and family.  These innocent little ones cannot afford for us to turn a blind eye to them.

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11 thoughts on “God’s Will Be Done

  1. Leila

    “This just can’t be controlled; it is what happens when someone loves.”

    Amen, and thank you for loving, despite the risks. Praying for you, for Justin, for all the children.

  2. Jill R.

    I thank God for your discerning and sensitive heart, Megan, for these aptly-spoken words. Onward Christian soldier. You are a gem. His kingdom come in your life and in sweet Justin’s life :( Hurting for you both, though.

  3. Sarah

    Megan – I heard of your journey through a mutual friend, Mallory S. Though I also went to Franciscan and recognize you though we never met. I wanted to let you know that I’ve been praying for your family and for Justin. Your hearts must be breaking. God’s will be done! Know of our continued prayers for you.

  4. Allyouwhohope

    I’m so sorry. My heart breaks for all of you. I feel like my family has become attached to baby Justin (Clara prays for him by name every day), so I can’t imagine what you’re going through. But what an amazing attitude you have. We’ll be praying for you in the coming weeks, and we’ll continue to pray for Justin as well.

  5. Lianna

    Wow. I can’t imagine how you must be grieving. I will be praying for Justin, all the orphans, and for your family to discern which child to adopt going forward.

  6. M

    Lots of prayers for you. You don’t know me, but I am also Catholic and considering adopting a special needs child internationally, and I have been reading your blog and praying for all of you, and learning from your experiences. I would love to hear more about what happened, because while I understand there are a lot of crazy things that can happen in adoption, it sounds like Justin was never available to be adopted. I’m sure his country could have done more to get him to you, but it also sounds like he never should have been listed as adoptable in the first place. And then you fell in love, and now you are flying across the world, and Justin can’t be yours. I am heartbroken with you, but I am also angry at the people who failed Justin and at the people who, it sounds like, may have failed you-people who should have known his paperwork wasn’t in order before you went through all this to adopt him. I have no doubt God will turn this tragedy into beautiful blessings for you, your family, the child you adopt, and Justin, who received so many prayers because of this.

    In any case, I hope this doesn’t sound too negative. You are doing a beautiful thing and you sound like beautiful people. However, I’d love to hear more if you can share. Adoption is so beautiful but can be so hard. Prayers for all of you.

  7. Mrs. Mike

    Just heartbroken for you, but for Justin as well. You have been such a champion for him and all those struggling in his orphanage. Your prayers for him will not go unheard by God–I just know it. In the mean time, we’re praying for your own heart to heal.

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